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SEXUALITY AND ISLAM Questions & Answers COLLECTED FROM:
Etiquette of intimate relations ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Islam teaches us everything as to how to eat , dress, etc...is there also a Sunnah way of sleeping with one's wife.is any position Sunnah or is there nothing in Saheeh Hadith with regard to this?
Praise be to Allaah. Yes, you are right: Islam teaches us all things and has brought all good teaching to mankind concerning their livelihood, religion, living and dying, because it is the religion of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted. Sexual relations are among the important matters of life which Islam came to explain and to prescribe proper conduct and rulings which elevate it from the level of mere bestial pleasure and physical desire. Islam connects it to a righteous intention, supplications (adhkaar) and proper conduct which lift it up to the level of worship for which the Muslim will be rewarded. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explains this. Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) says in his book Zaad al-Ma’aad: "Concerning sexual relations, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) brought the most perfect guidance, whereby health may be preserved and people may find pleasure and enjoyment, and it may fulfil the purpose for which it was created, because sex was created for three basic purposes:
1.The preservation and propagation of the human race, until they reach the number of souls that Allaah has decreed should be created in this world. 2.Expulsion of the water (semen) which may cause harm to the body if it is retained. 3.Fulfilling physical desires and enjoying physical pleasure. This alone is the feature that will be present in Paradise, because there will be no producing of offspring there, and no retention which needs to be relieved by ejaculation.
The best doctors suggest that sex is one of the means of maintaining good health. (al-Tibb al-Nabawi, p. 249). And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Among its benefits is that it helps to lower the gaze, brings self-control, enables one to keep away from haraam things, and achieves all of these things for the woman too. It brings benefit to a man with regard to this world and the Hereafter, and benefits the woman too. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to enjoy regular intimate relations with his wives, and he said, "In your world, women and perfume have been made dear to me." (Narrated by Ahmad, 3/128; al-Nasaa’i, 7/61; classed as saheeh by al-Haakim). And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity. And whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a protection for him." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/92; Muslim, 1400). (al-Tibb al-Nabawi, 251). Among the important matters which should be paid attention to when engaging in intimate relations:
1.Having the sincere intention of doing this thing only for the sake of Allaah. One should intend to do this to protect oneself and one's wife from doing haraam things, to increase the numbers of the Muslim ummah so as to raise its status, for there is honour and pride in large numbers. It should be known that one will be rewarded for this action, even if he finds immediate pleasure and enjoyment in it. It was reported from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "In the sexual intercourse of any one of you there is reward" (meaning, when he has intercourse with his wife). They said, O Mesenger of Allaah, when any one of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that? He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Do you not see that if he were to do it in a haraam manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a halaal manner, he will be rewarded." (Narrated by Muslim, 720). This is the great bounty of Allaah towards this Ummah; praise be to Allaah Who has made us among them. 2.Intercourse should be preceded by kind words, playfulness and kisses. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to play with his wives and kiss them. 3.When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should say: "Bismillaah, Allaahumma jannibnaa al-shaytaan wa jannib al-shaytaan maa razqtanaa (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah Keep us away from the Shaytaan and keep the Shaytaan away from what You bestow on us (our children))." The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: If Allaah decrees that they should have a child, the Shaytaan will never harm him." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/187) 4.It is permissible for the husband to have intercourse with his wife in her vagina in whatever manner he wishes, from behind or from the front, on the condition that it is in her vagina, which is the place from which a child is born. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Jews used to say that if a man had intercourse with his wife in her vagina from behind, the child would have a squint. Then this aayah was revealed: Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "From the front or from the back, so long as it is in the vagina." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 8/154; Muslim, 4/156). 5.It is not permissible for the husband under any circumstances whatsoever to have intercourse with his wife in her back passage. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. It is known that the place of tilth is the vagina, which is the place from which one hopes for a child. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "He is cursed who has intercourse with women in their back passages." (Narrated by Ibn ‘Udayy, 1/211; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 105). This is because it [anal intercourse] goes against the fitrah [natural inclinations of man] and is an action which is revolting to those of a sound human nature; it also causes the woman to miss out on her share of pleasure; and the back passage is a place of filth and dirt – and there are other reasons which confirm the fact that this deed is haraam. For more information see Question #1103. 6.If a man has intercourse with his wife and wants to come back to her a second time, he should do wudoo’, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If any one of you has intercourse with his wife then wants to repeat it, let him do wudoo’ between the two (actions), for it is more energizing for the second time." (Narrated by Muslim, 1/171). This is mustahabb (recommended), not waajib (obligatory); if he is able to do ghusl between the two actions, this is better, because of the hadeeth of Abu Raafi’ who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went around his wives one day and did ghusl in this one’s house and in this one’s house. He (Abu Raafi’) said: I said to him, O Messenger of Allaah, why do you not do one ghusl? He said, "This is cleaner and better and purer." (Narrated by Abu Dawood and al-Nasaa’i, 1/79) 7.One or both of the spouses have to do ghusl in the following situations:
0.when the "two circumcised parts" meet, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When the circumcised part meets the circumcised part (according to another report: when the circumcised part touches the circumcised part), ghusl becomes waajib (obligatory)." (Narrated by Ahmad and Muslim, no. 526). This ghusl is obligatory whether ejaculation takes place or not. The touching of the circumcised parts means that the glans or tip of the penis penetrates the vagina; it does not mean mere touching. 1.Emission of semen, even if the two circumcised parts do not touch, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, "Water is for water [i.e., the water of ghusl is necessary when the "water" of semen is ejaculated]." (Narrated by Muslim, no. 1/269). 2.Al-Baghawi said in Sharh al-Sunnah (2/9): "Ghusl for janaabah [impurity following sexual discharge] is waajib in either of two cases: when the tip of the penis enters the vagina, or when gushing water is emitted by either the man or the woman." For more information on the details of ghusl as prescribed in sharee’ah, see Question # 415. It is permissible for the husband and wife to do ghusl together in one place, even if he sees her and she sees him, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: "The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl together from one vessel between me and him; we would take turns dipping our hands in the vessel and he would take more than me until I would say, ‘Leave some for me, leave some for me.’" She said, and they were both junub (in a state of janaabah). Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim.
1.It is permissible for a person who has to make ghusl to sleep and delay the ghusl until before the time of prayer, but it is definitely mustahabb for him to do wudoo’ before sleeping, because of the hadeeth of ‘Umar, who said that he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), Can any one of us sleep when he is junub? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Yes, but let him do wudoo’ if he wishes." (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, 232). 2.It is forbidden to have intercourse with a woman when she is menstruating (having her period), because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an adhaa (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have prufieied themselves, then go in unto them as Allaah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina). Truly, Allaah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts, bodies, for their prayers, etc.)." [al-Baqarah 2:222]. The person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating has to give a dinar or half a dinar in charity, as it was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) obliged a man to do when he came and asked him about that. This was reported by the authors of al-Sunan and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 122. But it is permissible for the husband to enjoy his menstruating wife without having intercourse, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would tell one of us, when she was menstruating, to wear a waist-wrapper, then her husband would lie with her." (Agreed upon). 3.It is permissible for the husband to withdraw (‘azl) if he does not want to have a child; by the same token it is permissible for him to use condoms – if his wife gives her permission, because she has the right to pleasure and to children. The evidence for this is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said, "We used to do ‘azl at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) heard about that, and he did not forbid us." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/250; Muslim, 4/160). But it is better not to do any of that, for several reasons, including the fact that it deprives the woman of pleasure or reduces the pleasure for her; and that it cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to increase the number of offspring, as mentioned above. 4.It is forbidden for both spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life; indeed, this is one of the most evil things. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Among the most evil of people before Allaah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who comes to his wife and has intercourse with her, then he spreads her secrets." (Narrated by Muslim, 4/157).
It was reported from Asmaa’ bint Yazeed that she was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and men and women were sitting with him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, "Would any man say what he did with his wife? Would any woman tell others what she did with her husband?" The people kept quiet and did not answer. I [Asmaa’] said: "Yes, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah, they (women) do that, and they (men) do that." He said, "Do not do that. It is like a male devil meeting a female devil in the road and having intercourse with her whilst the people are watching." (Narrated by Abu Dawood, no. 1/339; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 143).
This is what we were able to mention about the etiquette of sexual relations. Praise be to Allaah Who has guided us to this great religion with its sublime manners. Praise be to Allaah Who has shown us the best of this world and the next. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
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MASTURBATION
Ibn Mas’ood reported that a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him that he had kissed or touched a woman, or something similar, as if he was asking how he could expiate for this (according to another report: a man had done something with a woman that fell short of actual intercourse. He came to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, who regarded it as something very serious; then he came to Abu Bakr, who regarded it as something very serious. Then he came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)). Then Allaah revealed the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): "And perform al-salaah at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small sins). That is a reminder (advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice)." [Hood 11:114]. The man asked, "Is this concerning me, O Messenger of Allaah?" He said: "It is concerning whoever of my ummah does this." (Reported by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, 4963). According to a report narrated by ‘Abd-Allaah, a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, "O Messenger of Allaah, I fondled a woman in the furthest outskirts of Madeenah but I did not actually have intercourse with her. Here I am, judge me as you wish." ‘Umar said to him: "Allaah had covered you, you should have covered yourself (i.e., you should not have spoken of it)." The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not reply at all, so the man got up and left. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent a man to follow him, call him and recite to him the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): "And perform al-salaah at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small sins). That is a reminder (advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice)." [Hood 11:114]. A man who was present said: "O Prophet of Allaah, is this just for him?" He said, "No, it is for all the people." (Reported by Muslim, 4964). And Allaah knows best.
Masturbation (for both men and women) is haraam (forbidden) in Islam based on the following evidence: First from the Qur’aan: Imam Shafi’i stated that masturbation is forbidden based on the following verses from the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning): "And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors." 23.5-7. Here the verses are clear in forbidding all illegal sexual acts (including masturbation) except for the wives or that their right hand possess. And whoever seeks beyond that is the transgressor. "And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His bounty." 24.33. This verse also clearly orders whoever does not have the financial means to marry to keep himself chaste and be patient in facing temptations (including masturbation) until Allah enriches them of His bounty. Secondly, from the sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him): Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood said, "We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allaah’s Messenger said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Bukhari:5066. The hadeeth orders men who are not able to marry to fast despite the hardship encountered in doing so, and not to masturbate despite the ease with which it can be done. There are additional evidences that can be cited to support this ruling on masturbation, but due to the limited space we will not go through them here. Allaah knows what is best and most correct. As for curing the habit of masturbation, we recommend the following suggestions: 1) The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allaah’s orders and fearing His punishment. 2) A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophet’s hadeeth. 3) Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it. 4) Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haraam (forbidden). Allaah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet’s hadeeth (interpretations of the meanings): "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) ..... " 24.30-31 Allaah’s messenger said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." Al-Tirmidhi 2777. This is a general instruction by the Prophet to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the haraam (forbidden).5) Using one’s available leisure time in worshipping Allaah and increasing religious knowledge. 6) Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feeling of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation. 7) Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality. 8) Strengthening one’s willpower and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet when he said " Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad 6919.9) Following the Prophet’s aforementioned hadeeth and fast when possible, because fasting will temper one’s sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allaah not to return to the act because if one does not honor one’s promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to one’s oath to Allaah. Also, note that medication to diminish one’s sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect one’s sexual ability. 10) Trying to follow the Prophet’s recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet forbade sleeping on the belly). 11) Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allaah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet explains in the following hadeeth: "Whoever seeks chastity Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allaah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Bukhari:1469. 12) Repenting, asking forgiveness from Allaah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allaah. 13) Finally, Allaah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allah’s forgiveness will be accepted, by His will. Wallahu a’lam. And Allah knows what is best and most correct.
One of the aims of sharee’ah is to protect people’s honour and to preserve lineages (keep them legitimate). For this reason, marriage has been prescribed, and fornication, adultery, sodomy and lesbianism have been forbidden. All the things that may lead to the above have also been forbidden, such as looking at non-mahram women (women to whom one is not closely related), mixing with them or being alone with them. Dressing improperly and forming friendships with the opposite sex have also been forbidden. All of this is aimed at preventing the provocation of desires, and at directing desires into legitimate channels instead of letting them find forbidden means of expression. One of the principles of sharee’ah is that whatever leads to haraam deeds is itself haraam, so everything that leads to the provocation of haraam desires is haraam, because it may lead to a person falling into fornication and adultery. Once desire has been provoked, it invariably means that a person has to find a way of satisfying it, and so he or she commits a haraam act. Reading stories and magazines with sexual content, and looking at dirty pictures and movies provokes these kinds of desires and leads to haraam deeds, so they are not allowed. We should avoid them and keep away from them. Warn your friend about this and tell her to repent by keeping away from these things and getting rid of any bad books, movies etc. that she still has. She should feel remorse for the past, and should do more righteous deeds from now on. We ask Allaah to grant us all chastity and good health, to purify our hearts and to accept our repentance, for He is the Acceptor of repentance, the Most-Merciful.
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Premarital sex, and is it the parents’ obligation to arrange marriage for their children?
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I have heard that it is parents obligation to arrange for marriage of adult children and if they fail to do so, punishment for any sin committed by children is given to the parents. Secondly, if anyone indulges in sex (not intercourse) with honest intentions to marry that person later, then is the sin committed by them forgiven? How bad is it for a Muslim to do so? Praise be to Allaah. In answer to your second question, to say that it is permissible for a man to engage in a premarital physical relationship (even if it does not include intercourse) with a woman who is not permissible for him, claiming that he intends to marry her in the future, is total and utter nonsense. This can never be allowed by sharee’ah, and there can be no legitimate relationship until after the completion of a legal marriage contract according to Islamic law (i.e., nikaah). I sent your first question to Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Jibreen, and he wrote back to me with the following answer: Yes, it is a duty on the father to keep his children chaste by arranging their marriages, and spending on them and clothing them, if he is able to do so. If he is not able to, but the mother, grandfather or grandmother is able, it becomes that person’s duty to arrange the marriage. If the son cannot afford it but he has the ability to earn a living, it is his obligation to do so, in order to keep himself chaste. And Allaah knows best.
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What is Said Just Prior to Intercourse
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Salam; I have a question that everyone I asked had a different answer for. Does the Muslim have to say anything during the sexual intercourse "nikkah"?, and does the Muslim "husband and wife " have to pray before the first day of sexual intercourse "nikkah"?
Praise be to Allah; Among the manners prescribed by the shari’ah is that the Muslim should say when he commences intercourse with his wife: "Bismillaah, oh Allaah, shield us from Satan and keep him away from us and from what You [may] bestow upon us (i.e. children)" narrated by Al-Bukhari, Fath ul-Baari # 138 [transliteration: "bismillaah, allaahumma jannibnash-shaytaana wa jannib-ash-shaytaana maa razaqtana"] This opening invocation is useful in that if Allaah blesses the husband and the wife with a child, this child will not be harmed by Satan. As for what is to be said by the husband when consummating the marriage with his wife, please refer to. Question#854 which has been answered previously.
====================================================== What should a Muslim do when he wants to consummate his marriage?
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assalamuvalakum I am a 21yr old young man and inshallah next year getting married. My question is that, i need to know the way a marriage is set to be planned, i mean how is the nikah supposed to be performed, how many people can i invite is there a limit, can i have music, dancing during my wedding or during reception or valima. Also i need to know is that, whose responsibility is it to conduct the nikah and valima, is it the brides, or the bride grooms. I need to know this answer a.s.a.p. so i could inform my family and inshallah i will implement it in my life, so Allah will bless me and my marriage. My family is from XXX and so show a lot of custom.
Praise be to Allaah. When a Muslim wants to consummate his marriage, a number of things are recommended in the sunnah: 1.He should treat his bride kindly and gently, like offering her something to drink and so on, because of the hadeeth narrated by Asmaa’ bint Yazeed ibn al-Sakan, who said: "I prepared ‘Aa’ishah as a bride when she married the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). I came to him and invited him to see her (uncover her face). So he came and sat beside her, and a large cup of milk was brought to him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) drank some, then offered it to her, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I rebuked her and said: ‘Take it from the hand of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).’ So she took it and drank a little, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her, ‘Give some to your companion (meaning himself).’" (Reported by Imaam Ahmad and deemed saheeh by al-Albaani) 2.He should place his hand on his bride’s head and pray for her, saying "Bismillaah" and asking for barakah (blessing), saying the words reported in the hadeeth narrated by ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas, who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When one of you marries a woman or buys a servant, let him say: ‘Allaahumma inni as’aluka khayraha wa khayra ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi wa a’oodhu bika min sharriha wa min sharri ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi (O Allaah, I ask You for her goodness and the goodness which You have created in her, and I seek refuge with You from her evil and the evil which You have created in her).’" Abu Dawud said that Abu Sa’eed added: "Then let him take hold of her forelock and pray for blessing from this woman or servant." (Reported by Abu Dawud in al-Sunan, Kitaab al-Nikaah, Baab fi jaami’ al-nikaah; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 341) 3.He should pray two rak’ahs with her, leading her in prayer, because this is reported as being the practice of the salaf (early generations). There are two reports concerning this. (i) from Abu Sa’eed, the freed slave of Abu Usayd, which states that a group of the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught him and told him: "When your wife comes in to you, pray two rak’ahs and ask Allaah for the goodness of what has come to you, and seek refuge with Him from its evil." (ii) from Shaqeeq, who said: "A man called Abu Hareez came and said (to ‘Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood, may Allaah be pleased with him): ‘I have married a young virgin girl, but I am afraid that she may hate me.’ ‘Abdullaah said: ‘Love comes from Allaah and hatred comes from Shaytaan, who wants to make you hate what Allaah has made permissible. When she comes to you, tell her to pray two rak’ahs behind you.’" (These two reports were narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah; see Aadaab al-Zafaaf by al-Albaani). 4.When he wants to consummate the marriage, he should say the words reported in the hadeeth reported by Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said: "When one of you wants to approach (have intercourse with) his wife, if he says: ‘Bismillahi Allaahumma jannibna al-Shaytaan wa jannib al-Shaytaan ma razaqtana (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, protect us from Shaytaan and protect whatever You give to us from Shaytaan)’ – then if they are given a child, Shaytaan will not harm it." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, no. 3271) (For more information, see Aadaab al-Zafaaf by al-Albaani, p. 91) There is no limit to the number of guests one can invite to a wedding feast (waleema), so invite whoever you wish of your relatives, the bride’s relatives, your friends and anyone you have a good reason to invite. It is not permitted in Islam to do anything that is haraam such as having music, letting men and women mix, or letting women dance in front of men, or other things that earn the wrath of Allaah. How can the blessing of Allaah be exchanged for disobedience and immorality? At weddings, women can do whatever is allowed in Islam, such as singing acceptable songs with good words or entertaining themselves by playing the daff (a certain kind of drum, resembling a tambourine without the rattles) only, so long as no men are present. Providing the wedding feast (waleema) is the husband’s responsibility. The sunnah is to slaughter one sheep or more for the guests, if he is able to, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf, "Give a wedding feast, even if it is only one sheep." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, no. 2048). We ask Allaah to bless you and your bride and to grant you a happy marriage.
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Is contraception allowed ?
Al-hamdu lillaah. Contraception is permitted under the following conditions: 1.Mutual agreement of both husband and wife. 2.It does not cause harm. 3.It is not be practiced on a permanent basis, but rather for a temporary period (such as two years until the breastfeeding of the current baby is completed, for example).
================================================================= Ruling on Intercourse with a Woman in her rectum
------------------------------------------------------------------------ Please accept my apology if this questions offends, but in the pursuit of Islamic knowledge, we cannot afford to be shy for fear that if we are not well advised, we may commit a sin. I have been advised by a friend that there is a "qawl" (opinion) among some ulamaa' (scholars) that it is permissible to conduct anal sex (anal penetration) (between man and wife only) during the time of the wife's haydh (menstruation). Is this correct? Please also advise the laws and penalties relevant to it.
Praise be to Allah. Your apology is accepted. Striving to understand the rulings of Sharee'ah in this and similar matters is not haraam or shameful; it is necessary. As regards your question, anal intercourse with one's wife is a major sin, whether it occurs at the time of menstruation or not. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) cursed the one who does this: "Cursed is the one who approaches his wife in her rectum" (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/479; see also Saheeh al-Jaami', 5865). The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) also said: "The one who has intercourse with a menstruating woman, or with a woman in her rectum, or who goes to a fortune-teller, has disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 1/243; see also Saheeh al-Jaami', 5918). In spite of the fact that many wives of sound nature refuse this, there are some husbands who threaten their wives with divorce if they do not obey them (in this matter), and some even deceive their wives, who are too shy to ask scholars about it, into thinking that it is permissible. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) said that a man may approach his wife in any way he likes, from the front or the back, so long as intercourse takes place in the place from through which a child is born. There is no doubt that the rectum is the place from which waste matter is expelled, not the place from which a child is born. Another reason why some may commit this immoral act is that they enter upon what should be a clean married life with some jaahili (ignorant) traditions and odd practices, or with memories of scenes from indecent movies, for which they have not repented to Allaah. It is known that this act is forbidden even if both partners agree to it. Mutual consent to a haraam deed does not make it halaal. I ask Allah to bestow upon us a proper understanding of His religion and to make us adhere to its limits, for He is the All-Hearing, the One Who answers prayers.
======================================================================== Masturbation between husband and wife ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Is masturbation haram between man and wife?
Praise be to Allaah. It is not haraam, rather, it is permissible, because it is a part of the enjoyment which Allaah has allowed. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Those who guard their chastity (.e., [private parts, from illegal sexual acts) Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame." [al-Mu’minoon 23:5-6]
====================================================================== Is zinaa intercourse only? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I need further information about the verse interpreted here about adultery. Adultery, according to the Hudood I read, require penetration. Is that true of Islamic law? Are married persons, or single for that case, indulging in immoral acts that do not include penetration (but maybe oral sex), exempted from this punishment? Secondly, is there a forgiveness for adultery? Or for what I inquired in my previous question. I'd be greatly obliged to receive an answer, because this issue has confused me for a long time.
Praise be to Allaah. Zinaa, in Arabic, means immorality, and is used with two meanings in shar’: a general meaning and a specific meaning. The general meaning includes that which carries the punishment (hadd) and that which does not carry it. Islam does not give the name of zinaa only to that which carries the punishment, which is just one of many types of zinaa. Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: "I have never heard any better definition of ‘small faults’ [al-Najm 53:32] than that which Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): ‘Allaah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zinaa, and there is no way to escape from it. The zinaa of the eye is a glance, the zinaa of the tongue is speaking, and the zinaa of the mind is wishing and hoping; then the private part either acts upon this or it does not.’" (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 11/26; Muslim, 4/2046). Al-Bukhaari included this hadeeth in a chapter entitled Baab zinaa al-jawaarih doon al-farj (Chapter on the zinaa of faculties other than the private part). Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "Zinaa is not always associated with the private part itself, but may involve other faculties such as the eyes and so on." Ibn Battaal (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "Looking and speaking are called zinaa because they lead to real zinaa. This is why he said that the private part either acts upon this or it does not" Zinaa is one of the forbidden deeds, one of the most serious major sins (kabaa’ir) after shirk and murder. Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings): "And those who invoke not any other god along with Allaah, nor kill such life as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse – and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; except those who repent and believe and do righteous deeds, for those Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." [al-Furqaan 25:68-70] "And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah [anything that transgresses its limits – a great sin], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allaah forgives him)." [al-Isra’ 17:32] Imaam al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "The ‘ulama’ said that the phrase And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse is more eloquent than merely saying ‘Do not commit zinaa’, because the meaning is, Do not even come close to zinaa." This means not doing any deed that may get close to zinaa or lead to it, such as being alone with a member of the opposite sex, touching, looking, going to evil places, speaking in a haraam manner to a woman to whom one is not related, thinking about and planning immoral acts, and so on. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: "I asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), ‘Which sin is worst in the sight of Allaah?’ He said, ‘To make any rival to Allaah, when He has created you.’ I asked, ‘Then what?’ He said, ‘To kill your child for fear that he will eat with you.’ I asked, ‘Then what?’ He said, ‘To commit zinaa with the wife of your neighbour.’" (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 8/492; Muslim, 1/90). All religions are agreed that zinaa is haraam; no religion allows it. The punishment for zinaa is the most severe of punishments, because it violates people’s honour and lineages. The sin of zinaa may be of varying degrees, and the gravity of the offence depends on the nature and circumstances of the deed, although all zinaa is haraam, a major sin and an act of immorality. Zinaa with a mahram [i.e., incest] (Allaah forbid) or with a married woman is far worse than zinaa with a woman to whom one is not related or with an unmarried woman, because it involves violating the rights of the husband, contaminating his bed, attributing a child to him that is not his, and other kinds of offence and harm. If her husband is a neighbour, the crime of being a bad neighbour is added to the offence; if her husband is one's brother or relative, the crime of breaking family ties is added. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: He will not enter Paradise whose neighbour is not safe from his evil actions." (Reported by Muslim, 1/68). There is no evil action worse than zinaa, and if the husband is absent for the sake of Allaah, such as in worship, seeking knowledge or jihaad, then the sin is compounded. Buraydah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The wives of the mujaahideen are as sacred and forbidden to those who stay behind as their own mothers. There is no man of those who stay behind who is entrusted by one of the mujaahideen with the care of his family and then betrays him (by committing zinaa), but he will be detained on the Day of Resurrection, and (the one whom he betrayed) will take as much of his good deeds as he wishes. So what do you think?" (Reported by Muslim, 3515). "If the adulterer is married, the sin is greater, and the punishment is stoning, and if he is an old man, the sin is greater and the punishment is as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) mentioned in the hadeeth about the three whom Allaah will neither look at nor praise on the Day of Resurrection, and who will have a painful punishment." (Saheeh Muslim, 156). If the deed is also committed during a sacred month or in a sacred place or at a time which is special in the sight of Allaah, the sin is compounded. The fuqaha’ (may Allaah have mercy on them) stated that the basic act of zinaa which carries the punishment is illegal sexual intercourse, whereby the two "circumcised parts" [i.e. genitals] come together and there is penetration of the tip of the penis, because this is actual penetration (which carries the prescribed hadd or punishment). A person must avoid evil deeds and everything that can lead to them. Allaah has commanded us to avoid the traps of the Shaytaan, because if a man takes one step in that direction, his shaytaan and his own ego (nafs) will keep urging him to do evil until he commits immoral deeds. One should think about how serious it is to touch a woman to whom one is not related, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explained: "If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with a piece of iron it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman whom it is not permissible for him to touch." (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045). This refers to the punishment for touching, so how about worse deeds, such as embracing and kissing, and even worse kinds of illicit activity? The Muslim qaadi is empowered to stipulate an appropriate punishment for every proven action other than actual intercourse; in the case of intercourse, the punishment set out by Islam is one hundred lashes and a year’s exile for one who is unmarried, and stoning for one who is married. This is the punishment in this world, and the punishment in the Hereafter is far more severe. One of the important principles which the salaf (may Allaah have mercy on them) pointed out is that the sincere believer who truly hopes for Allaah and the Hereafter should not look at whether the sin is major or minor, or whether is carries a punishment (hadd) or not. It was reported that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: "There is no major sin if one asks for forgiveness, and there is no minor sin if one persists in repeating it." Someone else said: "If you want to disobey Allaah, do not think about the smallness of the sin, think about the greatness of the One Whom you are disobeying." With regard to the matter of repentance from zinaa, please refer to the book "I Want to Repent, But..."
========================================================================= Ruling on shaking hands with the opposite sex ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Is it allowable for a Muslim woman to greet a Muslim man by shaking hands?
Praise be to Allaah. For a man to shake hands with a non-mahram woman (one to whom he is not related) is haraam and is not permitted at all. Among the evidence for this is the hadeeth of Ma’qal ibn Yassaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to." (Reported by al-Tabaraani; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045). There is no doubt that for a man to touch a non-mahram woman is one of the causes of fitnah (turmoil, temptation), provocation of desire and committing haraam deeds. No one should say that their intention is sound or their heart is clean, because the one who was the purest of heart and the most chaste of all, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched a non-mahram woman, even when accepting bay’ah (oath of allegiance) from women. He did not hold their hands when accepting their bay’ah, as he did with men; their bay’ah was by words only, as was reported by his wife ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). She said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would test the believing women who emigrated to him with the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): "O Prophet! When believeing women come to you to give you the bay’ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e., by making illegal children belong to their husbands), and that thye will not disobey you in any ma’ruf (Islamic monotheism and all that which Islam ordains), then accept their bay’ah and ask Allaah to forgive them. Verily Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." [al-Mumtahinah 60:12] ‘Aa’ishah said: "So whoever of the believing women agreed to these conditions, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would say to her: ‘I have accepted your bay’ah by words.’ By Allaah, his hand never touched the hand of any woman when accepting their bay’ah; he accepted their bay’ah by saying ‘I have accepted your bay’ah on this basis.’" (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4512; according to another report: he accepted their bay’ah by words… the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman except a woman he owned . Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6674). Some Muslims feel too embarrassed to refuse when a woman offers her hand to them. In addition to mixing with women, some of them claim that they are forced to shake hands with fellow-students and teachers in schools and universities, or with colleagues in the workplace, or in business meetings and so on, but this is not an acceptable excuse. The Muslim should overcome his own feelings and the promptings of the Shaytaan, and be strong in his faith, because Allaah is not ashamed of the truth. The Muslim could apologize politely and explain that the reason he does not want to shake hands is not to offend or hurt anybody’s feelings, but it is because he is following the teachings of his religion. In most cases this will earn him respect from others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, and it may even be a practical opportunity for da’wah. And Allaah knows best. Tawbah (repentance) from fornication and what is the status of a child
------------------------------------------------------------------------ There is another problem that has been worrying me for some time—namely, I committed fornication with a woman. How do I repent? Can I marry her in order to cover up the whole affair? Another man says he committed fornication outside his country, and he knows that the woman conceived and delivered a child. Is this his child? And is it obligatory for him to bear the costs of the child’s upbringing? Questions of this sort are asked so often and by so many that it is time Muslims paid serious attention to their reformation in the light of the Qur’an and Sunnah, in order that such things do not occur in the first place. Special stress is to be placed on the lowering of the gaze, no bodily contact (including shaking hands) between men and women, wearing of the full hijab, prohibition of meetings in secrecy in particular and of mixing of sexes in general, discouraging unwarranted travel to non-Muslim countries, and early marriages. As for the question about one who committed fornication, there can be two situations. 1.Either the man did it by force, that is, raped the woman. Such a man should pay her the amount of mahr (dower) in accordance with her social class, as compensation for what harm he caused her. As for himself, he should sincerely repent. And, if the matter has reached the authorities, then he should be punished according to the law of shari’ah. See Madarij 1/366. 2.Or, he has he had sex with a woman who consented to the act. There is nothing due from such a man except repentance. Neither the child is his, nor is the cost of upbringing born by him because it is an illegal child and must be attached to the mother and not the father. The man’s marriage to the woman, for the sake of covering up the issue, is also not permissible. For Allah revealed in the Qur’an a verse whose meaning can be translated as: "An adulterer does not marry but an adulteress or mushrika (polytheist). And an adulteress does not marry but an adulterer or mushrik (polytheist). (Al-Noor:3) It is also not permissible to marry a woman who is pregnant from an adulterous act, even if the man has fathered the baby in the womb, as it is also not permissible to marry a woman about whom it is not known if she is pregnant or not. Nonetheless, if he repents, and she also repents, and she is proved to be not carrying a child, then it is permissible that he marries her and begin a new life. If she is carrying a child, they must wait until she delivers birth.
====================================================================== What is the ruling on having thoughts of intercourse even before marriage? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ What is the ruling on having thoughts of intercourse even before marriage? Must one try to get rid of these thoughts quickly?
Praise be to Allaah. Thinking about this matter before marriage is of no benefit. Rather it is harmful, because it usually leads to the provocation of sexual desire and doing something that is not right in order to fulfil this desire. Try to get rid of these thoughts and keep yourself busy with the remembrance of Allaah (dhikr), issues of knowledge and working to propagate the cause of Islam. We ask Allaah to help us and you to do all that is good.
========================================================================== Abnormal relationship between women ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I am a believer and I am in love with a believer. We are both women and have already had children who we are taking good care of, but their fathers have deserted us . We both want to live as good Muslims, but we love each other so much . We have been told culturally that our love is an abomination, however we cannot find anything in the Qur'an which condemns us or our actions. We are hurting no one. We are employed. We are educating our children and nurturing our families. We know the passage in the Qur'an about Soddem and Gommorah, but that appears to deal with the rape of men by men. It does not speak to monogamous love between two women. We love Allah and want to do his will. We need more information about our situation. Just as illicit sexual relations can occur between men, they can also occur between women. The Muslim fuqahaa’ call this sihaaq (lesbianism), which they define as sexual relations between one woman and another (al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah by Zaydaan, 5/450), and state that it is a punishable offence (the punishment is a form of discipline for disobedience; no specific punishment is given in the Qur’aan, so the punishment is to be set by the Qaadi according to the circumstances of the crime and the one who commits it). The lesbian’s testimony is unacceptable because she is a evildoer (al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 24/253). Ibn Qudaamah, may Allaah have mercy on him, said: "If two women masturbate one another, then they are cursed fornicators" (al-Mughni 10/162). Some of the scholars, like al-‘Izz ibn ‘Abd al-Salaam say that a lesbian is not permitted to look at a Muslim woman, and that a Muslim woman is not permitted to uncover (take off her hijaab) in front of a lesbian, because she is an evildoer who cannot be trusted not to describe her to others. If what is described above is the nature of the relationship between the two women mentioned in the question, then they must repent sincerely to Allaah and stop their evil actions. If their being together in one place will lead to them committing this sin, then they must never meet, so as to avoid this wrongful act. Their husbands’ desertion of them may be one of the reasons for them falling into this kind of perversion, because they have no legitimate way in which to fulfil their desires and so they have resorted to this haraam way. So they must think seriously of finding Muslim husbands with whom they can live in the way prescribed by Islaam. As for love, this is a different kind of sin, which need not necessarily be associated with physical desire. It is dangerous because it leads to the lover worshipping the beloved, so that he thinks only of the one he loves, cannot bear to be parted from him by day and dreams about him at night; he lives and dies for his sake, and may change when he sees him and become sick when he is absent. This kind of relationship destroys a person’s mental health and destroys his relationship with his Lord, because it makes the lover worship his beloved and it is haraam to worship anything other than Allaah. The solution to this disastrous situation is total separation, so that one will never see that person, or hear news of him again.
============================================================== The pleasures of this world ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Is the principle of pleasure forbidden in Islam? What is the view of Islam concerning physical pleasure, because the religion is a bunch of hard and strict duties.
The pleasures of this world are of three types: 1.Pleasures which will be followed by a greater pain, or which make a person miss out on a greater pleasure. These are the pleasures enjoyed by sinners and negligent people to varying degrees, such as those who enjoy zina (illegal sexual conduct), drinking wine, stealing, and so on. It will be said to them on the Day of Resurrection (interpretation of the meaning): "You received your good things in the life of the world, and you took your pleasure therein…" [al-Ahqaaf 46:20]
2.Pleasures which will not be punished in the Hereafter, but overindulgence causes a person to miss out on achieving higher levels and keeps him from earning reward. These are the permissible pleasures of those who are negligent, which they do not do in order to better themselves or to earn reward, and they have no intention of worship when they do these things. Examples include going to extremes in matters of food, drink, transportation, accommodation, travelling and going on vacation, and other things that are not inherently harmful or sinful. 3.Pleasures for which a person will be rewarded. These pleasures belong exclusively to the believers who let themselves enjoy them on the grounds of doing their duty towards themselves, seeking help thereby to obey Allaah, and helping to keep themselves away from sin.
On the basis of these noble aims, these pleasures may be classified as acts of obedience towards Allaah, concerning which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Allaah will be pleased with a slave who eats some food then praises Allaah for it, and drinks some drink then praises Allaah for it." (Reported by Muslim, 2734, from the hadeeth of Anas). He also said. "In your intercourse with your wife, there is reward." They said, "O Messenger of Allaah, can anyone of us have sexual enjoyment and be rewarded for that?" He said, "Do you not see that if you do that in a haraam manner, you will be punished for it? So if you do it in a halaal manner, you will be rewarded." (As in the hadeeth of Abu Dharr, reported by Muslim, 1006). It is clear from the hadeeth that enjoying these worldly pleasures on the basis of praising Allaah, recognizing His bounty and seeking to protect oneself from doing forbidden things will bring reward from Allaah. Praise be to Allaah for His blessings. (See Majmoo’ al-Fawaa’id by Ibn Sa’di, p. 234). Thus we know that in Islam there are permissible pleasures, having to do with eating and drinking permissible foods and enjoying permissible kinds of clothing and means of transportation, and there are pleasures for which a person will be rewarded in the Hereafter, in addition to his enjoyment of them in this world, such as the one who eats with the intention of gaining the strength to obey Allaah, or who sleeps with the intention of helping himself to get up to pray Qiyaam al-Layl and Fajr, or the one who has intercourse with his wife with the intention of keeping himself and her chaste, keeping them both away from sin, and with the hope of having a child, or the one who works hard at his trade or job with the intention of spending on himself and his family and his parents, and so on. And Allaah knows best.
==================================================================== It is not obligatory to have intercourse on the first night of marriage? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Asalaam-O-Alaikum I am getting married in few months. My question is do husband and wife have to have sex the first night? I have heard that if you don't have the intercourse fist night of your marriage, you're committing a sin and you can't celebrate walima, is that true? May allah bless you for leading us Muslims to the right path
Praise be to Allaah. What you have heard - that it is obligatory to have intercourse on the first night of marriage - is not correct at all. Not having intercourse on that night is not a sin, and does not prevent one from celebrating the waleemah (wedding feast). Whatever happens between the two partners on their wedding night is their concern alone, and they know best what will suit their own personalities. This is a good opportunity to remind Muslim men and women of the importance of verifying whatever they hear, and to warn them not to accept Islamic rulings from people who are not qualified to give them. We ask Allaah to help us learn that which will benefit us, and to benefit us from that which we learn.
====================================================================== Wife not interested in intercourse ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I've married 4 years ago, and I have a 3 years old daughter. My wife is not interested in sex at all. We've tried several doctors but [with] no progress. I do masturbate a lot, which caused some bad effects but I can't stop as we live in Canada, where you can't marry more than one wife. Is this a good reason to marry a second wife, or is there any other solution to my problem?
Praise be to Allaah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger. I ask Allaah to help you, my brother, to cope with this problem which you are suffering from, and which has to do with the mother of your daughter, the closest of people to you. I would like to make three points to you: 1.You are permitted to enjoy your wife in any of the ways which Allaah has permitted to you. This includes masturbation by her hand. 2.The reason you have mentioned in your question is sufficient grounds for taking another wife. 3.If you can find no other solution to this problem except divorcing this woman, between whom and you there is no longer any relationship in the marital bed, and marrying another woman afterwards, there is nothing wrong with that, in shaa' Allaah. You should consult the brothers around you who know your situation, and seek the guidance of Allaah by praying istikhaarah. May Allaah guide you to the right way. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
================================================================= Why are some things forbidden in this world when they are permitted in Paradise? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Before I get to my question, I would like to introduce myself a little. I am a Muslim girl in Sweden, who got a question from a Christian person. I've asked everyone around me and tried to find the answer by looking in books, internet, but unfortunately without any result. The question was about huriyat (several women), according to what I've heard it is several women that the Muslim men will be "awarded" with, in Janna (heaven).I don't know if this information is right, but if you could give me a little bit more information about this, I would be thankful. The main question is: -Why does Islam encourage something in Janna(heaven), which is forbidden here on earth?. With that he means, that a relationship outside marriage is according to Islam- haram (forbidden), if they(Muslim men)avoid this on earth, they will be awarded with huriyat in janna. Isn't that very strange? Unfortunately a know very little about this subject, I don't know where he got this question, but I am sure there is a logical explanation for this question, which I hope to find answer to. I would be very grateful, if you could help me with this question, thank you for your time!
Praise be to Allaah. In His Holy Book, Allaah has mentioned Paradise and what He has prepared therein. He has mentioned the attributes of Paradise and of its people in numerous places in the Qur’aan, such as the aayaat (interpretation of the meaning): "Therein will be a running spring. Therein will be thrones raised high. And cups set at hand. And cushions set in rows. And rich carpets (all) spread out" [al-Ghaashiyah 88:12-16]
"But for him who fears the standing before his Lord, there will be two Gardens (i.e. in Paradise). Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinn and men) deny? With spreading branches. Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinn and men) deny? In them (both) will be two springs flowing (free). Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinn and men) deny? In them (both) will be every kind of fruit in pairs." [al-Rahmaan 55:46-52]
"Wherein both will be Qaasiraat ut-Tarf [chaste females (wives) restraining their glances, desiring none except - their husbands], with whom no man or jinni has had Tamth [sexual intercourse] before them. Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinn and men) deny? (In beauty) they are like rubies and coral." [al-Rahmaan 55:56-58]
"Hoor (beautiful, fair females) guarded in pavilions" [al-Rahmaan 55:72]
"And (there will be) Hoor (fair females) with wide lovely eyes (as wives for Al-Muttaqoon – the pious). Like unto preserved pearls. A reward for what they used to do." [al-Waaqi’ah 56:22-24]
There are many saheeh ahaadeeth from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) which describe the women of Paradise and state that they will be prepared on the Day of Resurrection for the muttaqoon (pious). Among these ahaadeeth is the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The first group to enter Paradise will look like the moon on the night when it is full, then those who follow them will look like the brightest star in the sky; they will not urinate or defecate or spit or blow their noses. Their combs will be of gold and their sweat will be musk and their incense-burners will be pearls. Their wives will be al-hoor al-‘iyn. Their appearance will be the same and they will look like their father Adam who was sixty cubits tall." (Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2015). It was also reported that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A tent will be a pearl sixty miles high, in each corner of which will be a wife for the believer whom no one else will see." (Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3357). In these ahaadeeth the women of Paradise are mentioned who have been prepared for the men. In His Book, Allaah called them al-Hoor. Al-Hoor is the plural of Hooraa’ . Al-Qurtubi said in al-Ahkaam (17/12): "(This means) a woman in whose eyes the white is intensely white and the black is intensely black." We believe in that with absolute faith uncontaminated with any doubts. It is part of the essentials of our belief. For more information see Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab Bad’ al-Khalq, Baab Sifat al-Jannah; and Saheeh Muslim, Abwaab Sifat al-Jannah; and Sifat al-Jannah by Abu’l-Na’eem al-Isfahaani, which describes the women of the people of Paradise and their beauty. With regard to the question about why Islam encourages and gives glad tidings of things in Paradise which are forbidden in this world, such as men having intimate relationships with women outside of the framework of marriage – before we answer this question, we must make a serious point, which is that Allaah forbids whatever He wills in this world to its people, for He is the Creator and Sovereign of these things, so it is not permissible for anyone to object to the ruling of Allaah on the basis of his foolish thinking and imperfect understanding. The ruling and the decision of the matter, before and after, is only with Allaah, and there is none who can overturn His ruling, may He be glorified and exalted. With regard to the question of why Allaah forbids some things in this world, then in the Hereafter will permit them as a reward to those who abstained from them (such as wine, zinaa, wearing silk for men, etc.), this is what Allaah wills to give as a reward to those who obey Him and patiently strive in this world. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Is there any reward for good other than good?" [al-Rahmaan 55:60] With regard to the reason why these things are forbidden, there follow a few important points:
Firstly: We do not necessarily know all the reasons why things are forbidden. There are some reasons which we do not know. The basic principle is to accept and submit to the texts even if we do not know the reason, because submission is the point of Islam which is based on complete obedience to Allaah, may He be exalted. Secondly: Some of the reasons for the prohibitions may be clear to us, such as the corruption that result from zinaa, e.g., the mixing of lineage, the spread of fatal diseases and so on. When Islam forbids unlawful relationships, the intention is to protect people’s lineage and honour, which may not mean anything to the kaafirs and immoral people, who jump on one another like donkeys, with a boyfriend having intercourse with his girlfriend and people having intercourse with their own relatives and so on, as if they are in the jungle. Indeed, they are worse than animals, for some animals refuse to do such a thing, but these people do not refuse and do not care. As a result of this promiscuity, the ties that bind society disintegrate and it becomes filled with fatal sexual diseases which are an indication of the wrath of Allaah towards those who violate His sacred limits and make permissible that which is forbidden. This is unlike the relationship of a man with the Hooris in Paradise – which is what has been asked about here – for we may note that in the case of a promiscuous woman in this world, her honour is readily available to all and she has no religious commitment or shame. She is not bound by a lawful relationship to one person. So men and women have intercourse with whomever they want, with no restrictions of religion or morality. But the hooris in Paradise are restrained and restricted to their husbands to whom Allaah has given them as a reward for their patience in abstaining from haraam things in this world. As Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings): "Hoor (beautiful, fair females) guarded in pavilions" [al-Rahmaan 55:72]
"With whom no man or jinni has had Tamth [sexual intercourse] before them." [al-Rahmaan 55:56]
The hoori is a wife for the man, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "… and We shall marry them to Hooris [female fair ones] with wide, lovely eyes…" [al-Dukhaan 44:54].
And they will be confined to their husbands, and no one else will have a share in them. Thirdly: Allaah – who has declared that in this world a man is not permitted to have more than four wives at one time – is the One Who will bless the people of Paradise with whatever He wills of al-hoor al-‘iyn. So there is no contradiction between what is forbidden in this world and in the Hereafter, because the rulings of each are different, in accordance with what the Lord wills. Undoubtedly the Hereafter is far better and more lasting than this world. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women, children, much of gold and silver (wealth), branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. This is the pleasure of the present world’s life; but Allaah has the excellent return (Paradise with flowing rivers) with Him. Say: ‘Shall I inform you of things far better than those? For Al-Muttaqoon (the pious) there are Gardens (Paradise) with their Lord, underneath which rivers flow. Therein (is their) eternal (home) and Azwaajun Mutahharatun (purified mates or wives). And Allaah will be pleased with them. And Allaah is All-Seer of the (His) slaves.’" [Aal ‘Imraan 3:14-15]
Fourthly: This prohibition may be a kind of test from Allaah to His slaves, to see whether they will obey these commands and avoid that which He has forbidden. The test could not be with regard to something for which people have no inclination and which they do not like; it has to be with regard to something to which they are inclined and attracted. This testing may include wealth – will a person take from that which is permitted and dispose of it in manners which are permitted, and will he fulfil the rights which Allaah has over it? The test with regard to women is: will he restrict himself to that which Allaah has permitted him of women, and will he lower his gaze and avoid seeking pleasure in that which Allaah has forbidden. It is an aspect of Allaah’s mercy – may He be exalted and glorified – that He does not forbid something to which people are inclined without allowing something of that nature and there is much which is permitted. Fifthly: The rulings (ahkaam) of this world are not like the rulings of the Hereafter. The wine of this world causes people to lose their minds, unlike the good wine of the Hereafter which does not make people lose their minds or cause headaches or stomachaches. What Allaah has prepared for the believers of women on the Day of Resurrection as a reward for their obedience is not like zinaa which violates people’s honour, confuses lineages, spreads diseases and leads to regret. The women of Paradise are pure and good; they will never die or get old, unlike the women of this world. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Verily, We have created them (maidens) of special creation. And made them virgins. Loving (their husbands only), (and) of equal age" [al-Waaqi’ah 56:35]
We ask Allaah to bless us with the best of this world and the next, and to help us to be obedient to His commands and to have certain faith in His reward and to keep us safe from His punishment. And Allaah knows best.
=================================================================== "SEX, VIAGRA, AND ISLAM"By Dr. Shahid Athar *
Sex to most Muslims is a dirty word. A word that they don't even want to talk about. On the other extreme, many Muslims' are obsessed with sex. This I can say from the questions about sex that I receive on E-mail from the Islam-USA Web-page.
* Shahid Athar, M.D., F.A.C.P., F.A.C.E. is a practicing Endocrinologist,= Clinical Associate Professor at Indiana University School of Medicine. He is author of Islamic Perspectives in Sex Education, (Kazi) which can be read at http://www.Islam-USA.com. E-mail = SATHAR 3624 @ Aol.com Reprint Requests:Shahid Athar, MD ===================================================== In the Name of Allah, most Compassionate, most Merciful Islamic Ruling Concerning HomosexualityAlJumuah Magazine, Sha`ban 1416
Islam considers homosexuality as a sexual deviation leading
to a perverted act which goes against the natural order Allah
intended for mankind. It is a corruption of the man's
sexuality and a crime against the opposite sex. Therefore, the
Islamic shari'ah strictly prohibits the practice of this
perverted act. This is mentioned in many places in the holy
Qur'an.
The story of the people of the prophet Lut who were
addicted to this practice, is the best example. Prophet Lut,
alayhessalam said to his people: "Verily, you do sodomy
with men, and rob the wayfarer! And practice all wickedness
in your meetings," (Al-A-nkabut, 29:29). And he said to
them: "Of all the creatures ofthe world, will you approach
males, and leave those whom Allah has created for you to be
your wives? Nay, you are a trespassing people!"
(Al-Shu'ara', 26:165-166) But their answer to Prophet Lut,
alayhessalam, was: "Bring us the Wrath of Allah if you are
telling us the Truth." (Al-Ankabut, 29:29). And so Allah gave
them the punishment they deserved: "And We rained on
them a rain of torment. And how evil was the rain of those
who had been warned," (Al-Shu'ara', 26:173).
Just as a person who has a sexual urge should not satsfy it
by committing zina, a person who has this perverted thought
should not act upon it. In order to maintain the purity of the
Muslim society, most Muslim scholars have ruled that the
punishment for this act should be the same as for zina (i.e.
one hundred whiplashes for the man who has never married,
and death by stoning for the married man). Some have even
ruled that it should be death for both partners, because the
Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said: "Kill the doer
and the one to whom it was done." (Related by Al-Bayhaqi).
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